Let’s accept it – the rules for men and women are different!
And when you read books by Sheryl Sandberg and Jessica Bennett, you realise that the struggle is real. Women across the world face the same challenges at the work place. But there are a few things that you should do as a woman to ensure that your presence counts. And people listen when you begin to talk. Here are a few things you can do:
1. Watch your personal brand: This is something I learnt even before personal branding was a thing. The way you dress, carry yourself, communicate with people – everything goes towards how people perceive you. And as a woman, that’s even more important. I have always gained the respect of people because of these things. Always stick to professional boundaries with colleagues.
Don’t play the woman card just to be cute
You are reinforcing the stereotype that women are helpless. We are not!
2. Learn to be assertive: Assertiveness doesn’t come easily to women. Right from childhood, we are taught to obey, to give in, to put the needs of others before ours. But if you do that on your job, you’ll be taken for granted, you’ll end up doing everyone’s else’s job and worse, create a personal brand for yourself as a pushover.
During my full time job, I always ensured that I wasn’t saddled with sessions of other trainers unless it was a genuine emergency. (some trainers did pull favours with the co-ordinators to shirk work) And you will be surprised how pissed men (aka my boss) get, when a woman asserts herself. But I refused to work extra just to win favours of the boss if it did not amount to something valuable.
3. Be professional: With social media making life so transparent in today’s times, ensure that your personal life isn’t open to scrutiny on the job. I knew a colleague who posted her honeymoon photos from the beach on to Facebook. But she also had work colleagues in her friends list. She realised and removed them but not soon enough.
Keep your personal separate from professional on social media.
4. Network: Who you know is more important than what you know. Ensure that you are seen with the right people. Arrive early to meetings to chat up and test your ideas. Be there for office parties even if it means sticking around with just a glass of cola. Social occasions can be great for networking, especially with higher ups you may not be in touch with during work.
5. Read: This is one of the best ways to learn from the experiences from others. Sheryl Sandberg, Amy Cuddy, Peggy Klaus, Arianna Huffington – some of the authors I have read and benefitted from. The most recent book that I am reading is Feminist Fight Club by Jessica Bennett which is a must read for every woman working in the corporate world. It is a fantastic book with practical advice on surviving a sexist work place. (Let’s accept it – the [corporate] world IS sexist)
Reading can open your mind and expose you to ideas that nothing else can
Here are some tips on how to get started with regular reading habits
6. Grab opportunities: Better still, pitch for them. Self-doubt never takes a break. And more often than not, we are more ready than we feel we are. So, just like Joey says, you take a part and then learn whatever it is that it requires. Only by accepting challenges that you’ll grow and move ahead in the corporate world. So stop being modest and coy and go get it like the guys do.
7. Don’t take things personally: Women face enough flack for being emotional. Let’s not perpetuate that. If you are upset about something or with someone, make sure that you compose yourself before confronting the problem. Address it rationally and give reasons why you are upset.
Instead of saying, “I can’t tell you how mad I am right now”, try “I am upset because your mistake is setting our project back by 2 weeks”.
Or “I am angry because you undermine me during meetings and I don’t think that’s a good thing to do”. Spelling it out ensures that you aren’t just another “woman” on a hormonal roller coaster but a “person” who has genuine reasons to be upset.
There are so many things that women themselves can do to ensure that we get a fair deal. I have an advanced list on Linkedin and I encourage you to read and follow those tips too.
What’s on your list? What has worked for you? Share your experiences in the comments below and help other women learn from your experiences.